Methods in Relationships With the Opposite Sex That Are Non-Conducive to Positive Interactions: Part 1

(The “Compliments Make Shit Awkward” Edition) 

Why do my peers look at me as if I’m insane when I bluntly inform an attractive member of the opposite (or even same) sex that I think they’re just that?  With no intention of “hooking up” with them.  Even when I *know* they would never want a piece of my hobbity-ness  

Why can’t I say, “You’re an attractive gentleman/lady.  You were quite blessed by the genetics fairy.”?  

And furthermore, why is it considered “embarrassing” to compliment our peers?  I think this is the bigger question.  

You know, the media shits on both genders.  Men are never fit or wealthy enough.  Women are never skinny or sane enough.  I reside in Los Angeles, and these facts are so prevalent, it makes me hurt inside.  There is no way to count how many times I have sat at the local coffee shop and watched so many plastic, designer-clad individuals walk in.  These people have tried SO.HARD. to fit some sort of media-generated idea of what “beautiful” is.  Collagen-infused lips, grays dyed, tits pumped up to the size of state-fair-blue-ribbon-winning-watermelons.  Of course, there’s also the makeup.  OH the makeup.  Caked on like a pasted-on veil.  

While I sit there and stare in disbelief as to how anyone would want to be accepted SO bad that they’d turn themselves into these … mockeries of beauty, I can’t help but want to just approach that person and say, “You know, you would be so much more beautiful/handsome if you would just … not do that to yourself.  I can tell, somehow, through the layers of shellac that you are so much more beautiful if you were to just be yourself.”  

I am aware that this could somehow be taken as offensive, or somehow as an insane person confronting them, but it’s the truth.  

The more I see this, the harder it is to restrain myself.  

I want to start a revolution.  A “You should have no fear of genuinely complimenting strangers” revolution.  I want to be able to tell that really attractive server at my local cafe that he is just that.  Really attractive.  No subtext.  No ulterior motive. (because I’m honestly with myself and know someone that beautiful isn’t going to be attracted to me like that.  It’s not “self-deprecating” if it’s the truth.  I am perfectly aware of the kind of “attractive” I am capable of being attractive to.  I hope this little aside makes sense) 

I think that, with the huge head of the media consuming our self-esteem everywhere we turn, it should be up to us to turn to each other and reassure ourselves that “just because you’re not a chiseled god or a Victoria’s Secret model, it doesn’t mean we’re absolutely worthless.” 

Also, I believe that there are ways for men to compliment women without being skeezy, but women also have to stop jumping to the immediate conclusion that a man who may not be as attractive as they’d like complimenting them isn’t sexual harassment, nor is it “gross”.  You know those women.  The ones that scoff and shiver when a guy gives a genuine, no-strings-attached compliment to them.  I’m not saying that men can’t be incredibly inappropriate with their “sexual harassment disguised as compliments”, but really … learn the difference.  

We all need more love in this world.  More appreciation for the beauty we each bring to this world.  And it’s up to US to do it, because we all know there’s a cream/procedure/exercise that the world wants to sell us to be more attractive to the opposite sex as opposed to just embracing ourselves and rolling with that.  

So, if you’re actually reading this, do me a favor.  The next time you see a pretty girl? Attractive guy?  Tell them.  Be *polite and appropriate* about it, but still.  Do it.  Join the revolution.  

-Crabby Badger Out